


Symmetry No More; Death the Kid Loses His Touch?

by TheComicCrafter



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Cooking, Death the Kid Cooks The Perfect Steak, Death the Kid Stops Caring About Symmetry, Franken Stein Is Manipulative, Gen, Humor, Manipulation, in a fun way, personality change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 13:22:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17060570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheComicCrafter/pseuds/TheComicCrafter
Summary: When Death the Kid's obsession with perfection and symmetry starts to affect his performance at the Death Weapon Meister Academy, Professor Stein involves him in a little experiment that seemingly solves his problem... but at what cost to everyone else's sanity?





	Symmetry No More; Death the Kid Loses His Touch?

“You wanted to see me, Professor?”

Professor Franken Stein looked up from the small mammal he was in the middle of dissecting to see Death the Kid standing in front of his desk, looking at him expectantly. The patchwork professor sighed, pushing his work off to the side and sitting back in his office chair.

“Kid, ever since you enrolled here at Death Weapon Meister Academy, your grades have been steadily dropping. Needless to say, if you fail any more assignments I’ll have to expel you,” he stated flatly.

Kid folded his arms. “I can’t help it if it takes me a while to write my name perfectly on a worksheet,” he responded stubbornly. Stein leaned forward.

“At this point, even Black Star has better grades than you,” he drawled.

“Th-that’s preposterous!” Kid sputtered. “All that pompous idiot ever does is write his name on his assignments!”

“Which is still more than you do,” Stein deadpanned, silencing the young reaper. With a sigh, he stood up. “Your obsession with perfection and symmetry is becoming a problem; I didn’t want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice… close your eyes.” Kid looked at him quizzically.

“Close my eyes? Whatever for?” he asked suspiciously. Stein waved his hand as if swatting away his annoying questions.

“Just do it,” he ordered. Reluctantly, Kid obeyed, closing his eyes and standing perfectly still. He heard what sounded like a key being turned in a lock, followed by a loud “click!” Stein spoke once more: “Alright, you can open your eyes now.” Kid opened his eyes and looked down at himself, making sure everything was still symmetrical.

“…What did you do, exactly?” he asked, looking back up to face his professor. Stein shrugged, pausing to pull a cigarette from his pocket. He lit it and took a drag from it before explaining.

“Since your uptight soul is the cause of your obsession, I simply loosened it up a little,” he replied, as if it was perfectly normal. Kid’s eyes narrowed.

“You can do that?” he questioned. “Why haven’t I heard of this technique?” Stein blew out a small puff of smoke.

“It’s a last resort,” he explained, “and only someone very skilled with their soul wavelength can pull it off; it’s far too advanced even for you.” Kid looked down at himself again, then back up at Stein.

“I don’t feel any different,” he responded, suspicion creeping up on him once more. Stein waved his hand around absentmindedly.

“Like I said, I didn’t alter your soul in any way, I merely loosened it up a bit,” he repeated. “Now go back home; I expect to see you in class tomorrow morning… on time.” Kid nodded slowly, still both suspicious and a bit confused.

“Okay…” he agreed, before exiting the classroom. Once he was satisfied the boy was gone, Stein leaned back in his office chair, tenting his fingers like an evil mastermind; this was going to be a very interesting experiment… Turning back to the half-dissected animal on his desk, he smiled slightly; in the meantime, he would have the pleasure of discovering the secrets hidden within the innards of yet another creature on his “to dissect” list.

 

Upon closing Professor Stein’s classroom door behind him, Kid was greeted by his weapon partners, Liz and Patty Thompson.

“Hey, Kid,” Liz greeted, “what did Professor Stein want? Don’t tell me he tried to dissect you again…” Kid shook his head.

“No, he just wanted to discuss my performance in class thus far,” he explained; he wasn’t lying, he had just conveniently left out the part where the professor claimed to have cured him of his love of symmetry.

“What, is Lord Death gonna boot you out the front door unless you ace tomorrow’s quiz?” Liz quipped, causing Patty to giggle. Kid glared at them

“I highly doubt my father would do that,” he replied haughtily, though knowing his father’s twisted sense of humor, he had his doubts… Turning on his heel, he started to head for the main entrance and had made it halfway down the hall before he noticed that his weapons were not following. With a sigh, he turned around to see them both still standing by Stein’s door, looking at him quizzically. “What is it now, you two?” he asked, clearly annoyed.

“Kid, you got a little something…” Liz started, gesturing at his hair. Kid looked up, running a hand through it until he found the offending strands; they formed a cowlick on the right side only, which caused him to freeze. How had he not noticed something so… so… not symmetrical? He quickly smoothed his hair back into place with one hand before motioning for his partners to follow him.

“Come on, Professor Stein’s unexpected interruption has us five minutes off-schedule,” he announced briskly, causing the twins to groan. “You’ll need to ride on Beelzebub with me if we’re to make it home by exactly four o’clock.”

“Aw, come on, you know I hate flying, Kid!” Liz whined, but Patty clapped her hands together.

“Yay, we’re going for a ride!” she cheered.

 

The minute he got back home, Kid immediately dove into his standard housecleaning routine, while Liz and Patty went to their bedroom to read magazines and paint their nails or something; Kid wasn’t actually all that sure what it was they did. But after about an hour of straightening paintings and washing the windows until they shone like crystal, boredom began to overtake him, and he found his mind wandering to the gaming console his father had gotten him for Christmas last year, still nearly untouched save for when he dusted it. There was an RPG he had been wanting to play for a while now, maybe he could take a break for a while and…

Kid shook his head to clear the unwanted thought; no, he couldn’t waste time slacking off and playing video games like Black Star, he had work to do! And with that he returned to his cleaning with renewed vigor, intent on staying on task.

 

By the time Kid finished cleaning it was time for dinner, so he put away his supplies, making sure that every broom, brush, and bottle of floor polish was perfectly symmetrical before making his way to the kitchen. He stuck to a very strict schedule when it came to meals, and Monday’s dinner was always steak, cooked to medium-rare perfection and served with a selection of roasted vegetables. Following his own instructions exactly, he spread some asparagus out on a tray and seasoned them with salt and pepper before sliding the whole thing into the oven to cook while he focused on the steaks. Making sure each one was perfectly symmetrical, he lay the cuts of meat in a hot pan with oil and proceeded to cook them until there were nicely seared on all sides, finishing them with another sprinkling of salt and pepper just as the asparagus was ready to take out of the oven; perfect timing, as always. He carefully placed each steak in the center of a plate, with an even number of asparagus on each side, and paused to admire the symmetry, only to be disappointed by a complete lack of feeling. Slightly miffed, nevertheless he carefully balanced the three plates along his arm like a professional server and carried them into the dining room, placing one in front of each of his waiting weapon partners before sitting down to tuck into his own. 

Having eaten all his vegetables first, as his father had taught him, Kid carefully cut into the meat, noting the exact two centimeters of pink in the middle. After dividing it up into sixteen equal pieces, he skewered one on his fork and raised it to his mouth, ready to enjoy the reward of a home-cooked meal. But the second he bit down, he frowned, chewing slowly; was his cooking always this bland? If so, it was no wonder Liz and Patty got so excited when they went out to eat instead…

“Something wrong, Kid?” Liz’s slightly concerned voice caused him to look up and see her staring at him intently. “Is the table off-center again? I can-” Kid shook his head.

“No, no, it’s fine, I just think I may have under-seasoned the meat...” he trailed off, looking back down at the meal in front of him with disappointment. Sensing that Kid was about to be in one of his moods again, Liz quickly put on her best fake smile.

“Under-seasoned? No, that’s crazy! It’s perfect as always, isn’t that right, sis?” she asked, elbowing Patty before she could smother the whole thing in ketchup.

“Uh-huh!” her little sister chirped, hiding the condiment bottle behind her back and giving a thumbs-up. Kid smiled slightly and resumed eating, causing Liz to breathe a sigh of relief; thankfully her meister was incredibly gullible- that is, easy to cheer up.

 

Once everyone was finished, Kid stood up from his chair and collected his partners’ plates. As he did so, the two of them also stood up, yawning and stretching. 

“Well, Patty and I are going to bed,” Liz announced. “You coming, Kid?” The young reaper shook his head.

“No, I need to wash these dishes first; it would be poor form to leave them sitting out overnight.” Liz rolled her eyes.

“Suit yourself,” she muttered, trudging out of the room.

“G’night, Kid!” Patty called, waving cheerfully before following her sister.

 

Kid examined his reflection in the surface of one of the plates he had just spent an hour scrubbing to a perfect shine, noting the three white lines that ran along only one side of his hair. Surprisingly, he didn’t feel a sudden urge to try dying them or shaving his head like he had attempted several times before, which was both refreshing and slightly worrying; maybe Stein really had cured him of his obsession with symmetry… 

That thought continued to run through his head as he carried out his nightly routine, including but not limited to: Changing out of his suit and folding it neatly to be washed and ironed the next morning, showering with the water at eighty-eight degrees Fahrenheit, and brushing his teeth with exactly zero point zero eight ounces of toothpaste. Walking stiffly into his bedroom, he lay down flat on his bed in his black skull pajamas and stared at the ceiling. Going over the day’s events in his head, everything had been perfectly symmetrical (except for that dreadful cowlick), and yet he didn’t feel the usual sense of pride that came with it. Then he remembered how long it had taken him to clean the house, and how bland his steak was; had his love of symmetry simply been blinding him to such things? Sighing, he turned around to fluff his pillow and lay down once more, his eyelids slowly drifting closed. Maybe everything would make sense after a good night’s sleep…

**Author's Note:**

> I just started watching Soul Eater, and by "started" I mean it's been less than two weeks and I'm almost completely done with the series, and so far one of my favorite characters is Death the Kid; his neurotic behavior and obsession with symmetry are both hilarious and slightly relatable, as I also like things to be as perfect and symmetrical as possible, except I don't almost have a nervous breakdown whenever I see something out of place. Anyway, the series got me thinking: What would happen if Kid were cured of his obsession with symmetry? I'm not going to spoil anything, but my headcanon is that without his obsession, Kid would actually be a whole lot harder to deal with, to the point that even Black Star finds him annoying. For now, enjoy this introductory chapter and my first foray into the Soul Eater fandom, even though I should probably be focusing on finishing one of my other fanfics like Scaredy Kat-suki! or Boom Goes the Dynamite (shameless plug)...


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